Give Me a Break

Reverse culture shock is a real thing. Returning to your homeland and having the things that were once so normal to you now feel so foreign is a bizarre yet real feeling. This place that you once called home for so long is now a place where you feel unsure of your decisions and like a foreigner. For so many people who travel abroad for the first time this experience can be quite shocking. But it isn’t limited to first timers.

Reverse culture shock is something felt by first time explorers and veteran travelers. It can be felt after a trip of two weeks or a trip of months and years. There aren’t boundaries to when reverse culture shock is felt. As well as there isn’t a list of experiences you will have that are considered reverse culture shock because the effects are specific to the person, and even the place to which they have traveled.

I personally have felt it differently in every re-entry to the US, or not felt it at all. For many Americans culture shock can be experienced within our own country itself due to its size. We have the privilege of having an incredible diversity of cultures and languages in our country that can be shocking if we travel to a new area. Crazy, right? Different cultures within the same country? Yet this is true within many other cultures around the world.

So when I came back to the US after living in France for a year I was fully aware that I would experience reverse culture shock but had no idea in what capacity. I warned my friends, family and future roommate of this phenomenon and started to transition back to life in America.

My first glimpse of culture shock came the morning after I got back. After getting together with my running group after a year long hiatus I got coffee at one of my favorite coffee shops. While walking home I had two strangers say hi to me as I passed them on the street. Complete strangers saying hi. Now I know I come from the state known as being nice (shout out to the Minnesota Nice!) but it was still shocking. People in Paris never say hi to strangers, they hardly spare a glance. That just is how it is. Seven weeks later and there is a little less surprise each time someone says hello.

The second time I was able to pinpoint culture shock was when I went to the grocery store with a friend and her sister. I had to stop and look at every thing on the shelves. I needed to take it all in, as well as have a moment with the cheese, as that is something I miss most about France. I slowly made my way through the store and was gratefully able to a) recognize that I was experiencing culture shock and b) verbalize that to my friend in the store and have her be understanding. It’s amazing how powerful her simple response of ‘Ah, gotcha. Take all of the time you need’ were to me. It allowed me to feel what I was feeling and work through it a little. I still experienced culture shock the next few times I went to the store but it has diminished to only in small instances.

My transition into life in the US wasn’t a long one before I was sent into the next adventure. Less than three weeks after stepping foot on American soil I was getting in my car to drive across the country into yet another cultural experience. Three weeks of spending time with family and friends in the Midwest was not quite enough time to adjust to the US yet I was stepping into another challenging situation simply in the newness and unknown of it. I’ve been in Connecticut for four weeks now and the country for seven. My transition hasn’t been easy. I experience culture shock each day as I adjust to being back here but also being in a completely knew way of life. I didn’t know anything about Connecticut, Campus Recreation or the school I am attending prior to moving here. I’ve never lived on the East Coast or taken a business class in my life. On top of the standard adjustments to starting a new job and school year I am also dealing with the cultural differences of it all, as well as the cultural differences of adjusting back into life in this country.

I don’t recommend what I did to anyone. Three weeks isn’t enough time to make the adjustment before adding in a new one. I needed those three weeks of rest and a slower paced life to start to unwind from the last year but by no means was I finished. I also could have used a slower transition into normal life in the US instead of none at all. But the thing that I so often forget and have to be reminded myself of is to give myself a break. While seven weeks may feel like an eternity, it isn’t that long at all. Everyone around me is giving my me grace while I transition into the new normal and things will start to feel normal again after some time. The feelings of being overwhelmed will subside and all I need to do, is give myself some grace.

Some Things Come to An End

Something I’ve learned in the last year is that when things are coming to an end, we often learn to enjoy them more. When I knew that last summer would be my last summer in Minneapolis for a while, as well as at least a year without setting foot in Minnesota, I took advantage of each moment and made the most of my summer, resulting in my favorite summer so far. I spent time with the people I care most about, made time for the things I love and lived in the moment. The same can be true when we know someone is dying and we will no longer be able to spend time with them. The closing of my time in Paris is no exception.

When the three month mark came around Bekah and I started to be more intentional about getting in the things we wanted to do. We spent four days in Croatia, a weekend in Marseille and went to Roland Garros, the French Open, with another friend of ours. This weekend was no exception. We started Saturday morning and kept moving all the way until Sunday evening.

Our first activity was a run. I set out from my house, picked Bekah up along the way, and we headed towards the Arc de Triomphe and the Eiffel Tower on our longer #TriompheTuesday running route. We made our way to the river and followed it a little ways before heading back home. For me, this was likely my last time to ever run this course. With only a few weeks left I went out that morning with a sentimental approach to truly take in the route. We were met by a beautiful morning that continued all weekend.

After cleaning up, running some errands we biked to the Eiffel Tower RER station and took a train to the Chateau of Versailles for a picnic. We took in the view of the castle from along the canal and enjoyed a piece of quiet nature outside of the city. Talk about a glorious day with amazing scenery. When the park closed we made our way back to the RER and took a pleasant ride back to Paris with a lovely couple from Georgia. Contrarily to the beginning of my time here, I have been finding it a pleasure to meet Americans instead of an unpleasant moment. Whether It is feeling ready to go home or simply just changing, it is kind of nice to see the difference. Hopping on Velibs we made our way back home for nail painting, face masks and music, fully indulging in a rare girls night.

But we didn’t let the weekend stop there. We got up early on Sunday morning to board yet another train, this time headed to Vernon-Giverny station. We hurried off of the train, rented two bikes and after stopping up on picnic supplies we made our way to the beautiful home of Claude Monet. Leave it to Bekah and I to make a wrong turn that leads us on a mile long uphill detour but we quickly came to the conclusion we were going the wrong way and found the correct path, which was almost completely flat.

The house and garden of Claude Monet truly are beautiful. I wasn’t expecting to find such a lush garden as we did. It appears that the garden was haphazardly planted and filled as full as possible with flowers from all families and colors. It was truly stunning as everything was in full bloom. Besides the floral garden of his backyard, we were able to make a visit inside and see parts of the house where he spent the end of his life and painted many famous paintings. It was very cool to see photographs of him in the room where you were currently standing and truly imagine it before it was turned into a museum.

Re-entering the Garden we crossed under the road in the tunnel to the Japanese Garden, home to the famous water lilies. The water lilies are truly spectacular. They are spread out throughout the pond and able to be seem from a path that goes all of the way around it, or from one of the two bridges. It is amazing how accurately Monet was able to capture it. He truly did a spectacular job. While I already had an appreciation for his work but after seeing where it took place I can place a real life perspective that I couldn’t before. I highly recommend taking the trip out to see this place. (Hint: If you are going to visit his house, get the combined ticket of l’orangerie in Paris with admissions to Monet’s house to avoid the long line in Giverny.)

We took the correct path back to Vernon and having a little extra time we stopped into the boulangerie Rose right on the main road. They provided us with a delicious goûter for our train ride back to Paris, which was overbooked so we remained standing during the hour long journey back. We again found some American travelers to chat with that made it more enjoyable but can’t say I found the lack of seating very pleasant.

Our weekend was fun, filled, adventurous and exhausting. We both threw ourselves on the couch upon our return, hardly want to move to make dinner. We filled our weekend full, yet it wasn’t over busy. Moving from one thing to the next without feeling rushed was just the perfect way to spend one of our last weekends together in Paris. Part tourist, part resident, we definitely made the most of our weekend and all that where we live has to offer.